Friday, December 10, 2010

He is My Shield

The enemy of my soul is relentless in trying to remind me of old fears or put new ones in my mind and emotions. It seems that he works overtime at Christmas. This week I became a victim, like so many others, of my house being broken into and my jewelry being stolen. The stolen items consisted of my wedding ring,my 40th anniversary ring, my last necklace given to me on Valentines Day just before Billy went home to be with Jesus. They represent precious memories and cannot be replaced. But, the greatest challenge has been the violation and loss of peace in my home and heart. In climbing this mountain of finding my new identity without my husband, I felt like I lost my footing this week. I have been encouraged by the prayers and concerns from friends and family so I have been sustained, but when I sat down to write this, I was reminded of the words Sister Adeline gave me. She counseled me shortly after Billy's death when I was barely breathing. She said "Interior pain is what happens when we are letting go of how we define ourselves. When we let go, we give God a spaciousness to re-define us." So I am letting this interior pain of fear and loss be taken to the feet of my Lord Jesus and He is re-defining me as a victorious child of God not a victum. We are more than conquerors in Christ and He strengthens us to keep moving up these mountains. I love you and Merry Christmas,Jennifer


  1. Hi Jennifer. Bless you! I think you're one of the strongest and most faithful people I've ever known. You just keep growing more into His likeness every time I read something or hear something about you. I hope I can be half the person you are one day. I mean that with all my heart. I admire you greatly, and I know that Billy is super proud of you, dear one. I'll be praying for you, as I know you do for many others.
    In God's love, and with many happy Christmas wishes,

  2. Mom, I am proud of you. I am still angry and trying to give it to God. You are amazing and I am blessed to call you mom! Love Hayley